


From the Hudson River

by mimesere



Series: intergalactic superfriends [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Superman - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Needles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-16 16:16:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3494822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mimesere/pseuds/mimesere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lois has experience with superheroes who work for newspapers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	From the Hudson River

"Hey, so," says Lois, neatly folding a copy of the Daily Bugle. The front page is dominated by a picture of Spiderman swinging past a window and a headline that strongly hints that the editor should, maybe, take a small break for his own well being. Perry would never let anything so reactionary off his press, no matter how much it sold. "People know that this Peter Parker guy is Spiderman, right?"

One of the suits — a woman this time, impassive as the guys have all been — raises her eyebrows. It’s the most reaction Lois has seen out of one of them since Clark threw a wrench in all their data collecting plans. “What makes you say that?” she asks.

Lois taps the byline on the photo — Peter Parker and it’s nice to see that unnecessary alliteration is something their dimensions have in common — and points out the rest of her evidence. Well. Evidence is kind of strong. A strong intuitive leap backed up by circumstantial evidence. Definitely enough for further investigation. “He just happened to be in the right place to catch this angle? Really? Does he moonlight as a window washer? Because there’s no distortion or reflection or dirt or anything from glass getting in the way of this picture.”

"Hmm," is all the suit says.

"Besides," adds Lois. "I have some experience with people who happen to be conveniently on the spot at the same time as a metahuman event."

Clark just smiles at her. “Now, Lois—” he starts.

"It’s just a coincidence, Lois," she says, "Gosh, what are the odds of this happening twice?"

"Seven times," Clark says.

"What are the infinitesimal odds of this happening seven times? Maybe you should get up earlier—"

"The early bird catches—" starts Clark, fake serious expression on his face.

"I swear to God, Smallville, I will end you if you finish that sentence."

Clark grins at her, unrepentant. Lois turns back to the suit. “I have experience.”

"I see," she says. "I can’t comment on the situation one way or the other."

"Hmm," says Lois. "So you totally know. Okay."

Dr Simmons looks up from her array of needles at that. “We do know that? Did I know we knew that?”

Today’s experiment in Kryptonian physiology involves seeing if any of the weird metals and alloys this dimension has can get through Clark’s skin. Lois has a bet going with Jane that they won’t find anything native to this Earth that can do it, with a corollary bet that Jane’s alien god boyfriend might be able to find something that can.

"We knew that," says the suit and Dr Simmons nods and goes back to her tray. There is a row of gleaming metal laid out neatly across the tray, in order from common materials to rare metals with ridiculous names.

"Vibranium," says Dr Simmons, picking up one of the needles towards the rare end of the row.

Jane makes a note. “Are you thinking there’s some kind of resonance or something that will be canceled out?”

Dr Simmons shrugs. “At this rate, I’ll be happy if it even makes a dent.”

"I did try to warn you," Clark says apologetically.

"No, no," Dr Simmons says, "this is fascinating. It would be more useful, certainly, to get skin samples and blood samples and whatnot but this is all very…fascinating."

The vibranium doesn’t make a dent. Jane wraps a label around it carefully and it joins its fellows in the failed-but-still-intact pile.

"Adamantium next?" asks Jane.

"Tea next," says Dr Simmons firmly. "And maybe a bit of a lie down."

They watch her go. The suit motions at another suit - young, black and very handsome — to escort her. 

"I thought this was a secure facility," says Lois and Jane shrugs.

"I don’t think Agent May trusts Stark not to steal her scientists." Jane looks at Clark consideringly and Lois wonders if this is how Jane looks at her alien god boyfriend. For that matter, Lois wonders if this is how she looks at her alien god boyfriend. “So where is Smallville anyway?”

"Kansas," answers Clark over Lois’ muttered, "The middle of nowhere."

"So you have Kansas but not New York City?" asks Jane.

"I like to think of it more that you don’t have Metropolis," says Lois.

"Or Gotham City," says Clark. Lois rolls her eyes. As if Gotham could compete. Clark just looks at her and she waves a hand at him.

"Fine," she says, conceding the point. "Gotham City has its attractions."

"That’s the one with the guy who dresses up like a bat, right?" asks Jane, miming a punch. "And punches people."

Lois can only hope that her incredibly simplified after-three-drinks comparative metahuman analysis doesn’t make it back to Bruce. From the amazed look on Clark’s face, though, she’s pretty sure it’s one of the first things he’s going to share, because Clark gossips like Lois’ grandmother.

"Right," is all Lois says, really hoping that Jane doesn’t make it to asking about Star City.

"I wonder what causes that kind of divergent development," says Jane. Lois recognizes that look, the chasing down a lead face that she’s felt on her own and seen on Clark’s. Clark recognizes it too and neither of them are really surprised when Jane wanders away, talking to herself about alternate histories.

"Dresses like a bat and punches people, Lois?" asks Clark after Jane is out of earshot.

"It’s true," she says. "He does do that."

"Lois. Not even the detective bit?"

"Clark, he dresses like a bat. We got kind of stuck on that part."


End file.
